A day in the life of the village called table 1
Season 2 scene 7
The places events and characters portrayed in this work are purely fictional any resemblance to people living or dead are purely intentional.
No New Characters
Scene 7 begins
The scene opens outside the village post office were stands twr506 hand almost on the doorknob
twr506 wait up calls Denisey from behind .
Hello denisey says twr506 how r u today
Oh I'm fine thank you says denisey
Coming from the other direction Beverley arrives in front of the post office (slightly breathless) and
Says is there still no news of our missing villagers
At that very minute from around the corner comes Krazy1 and HappyAli
I haven't heard anything says krazy1 have any of you.
At that precise second (although it was shouted a second or 2 earlier, but sound takes time to cover distance so it was shouted earlier but heard later, oh never mind) they heard the shout of "MOM"
The group look towards the direction of the shout and see emerging from the woods baby (who was the person who shouted, as if you didn't know that) and z1zu arm in arm and yschi and jojomacca also arm in arm followed by CW and chip.
Are you all right baby says krazy1 I was worried about you
I'm fine mom says baby this is z1zu mom he and I are deeply in love
Z1zu looks at the fiery glint in krazy1's eye gulps and says hello
Hhhhmmmm says krazy1 what have you been up to with my daughter
Z1zu looks pale and worried and says we went to my aunties farm and helped her while my uncle was poorly.
right at that very second (it was that very second I remember timing it) hovis's van pulls up opposite the crowd and out gets hovis, poolshark, forgot, dazza (still wearing the t-shirt with the words "WINNER of Beverly's Bloomers Wet T-shirt competition" written upon it), BigDegs and last but not least CMtwr506
the crowd of people all talking at once make such a noise that the rest of the villagers come to see what is happening.
Shhhh! Shhh! Shh1 Sh! Says CMtwr506 quiet everyone if we al talk at the same time were not going to hear each other nor know what has been happening. So he continues what's been happening in the village little brother.
Twr506 says well you have been gone for 2 weeks and people were disappearing almost daily and nobody was coming into the village.
That's because says hovis the council were building a bypass and had the roads closed so once you got out of the village you were unable to come back, what happened to you z1zu.
Baby and I says z1zu went to my aunties farm to help out while my uncle was poorly I left a message on the answer phone for you.
Oh that was you was it says hovis it was so faint that I couldn't really make out what was being said I thought that it was one of those dirty phone calls I've heard so much about or at least I was hoping it was hovis mutters so low that only those closest to him heard.
What about you chip says Beverly where did you and yschi get to.
Oh don't talk to me about her says chip she is a spoilt little brat
Erhem I am, am I says yschi but I still beat you at getting erections.
What splutters denisey
I got a quicker erection than chip did says yschi
Oh! my god what says Beverly
Stop! Right now yschi Says CW
Oh interjects jojomacca apparently they went to the scout ranger camp and there was a competition to put up tents and yschi won.
Yes says yschi I got erection of tent quickest!
How about you and jojomacca then says flojo you went looking for our lost people and you found them and brought them home.
You are a hero once again CW says Martha
I wouldn't say that says CW I wouldn't say that (the twitch in CW's left eye is going noticeably slower)
CW looks pleased and a smile appears on his face don't forget jojomacca was also there helping says CW
Yes and you're a hero to jojomacca says Martha
Anyway I've met the perfect man now says yschi snuggling up to jojomacca
I wouldn't say perfect says jojomacca looking pleased with himself. I wouldn't say perfect!
What about you big brother says twr506 were have you been
Well says CMtwr506 I went to the city to change my name.
Change your name says Daniella why
Change your name says Beverly what to.
Change your name says Denisey I don't understand
Change your name big brother says twr506 what a good idea
I thought that CMtwr506 was old outdated and irrelevant these days says CMtwr506 so I changed it to MOD_twr506
I think that MOD_ is more up to date and modern and so is more relevant these days.
MOD_ (pronounced M –od with the emphasis on the M) means "mover of things" or "a person of modern ideas"
MOD_twr506 says twr506 it has a nice ring to it I like it (I was considering having CMwr506 killed off and having a big funeral scene with all the girls crying and Beverly being arrested for drowning him but what the heck I like this better)
Well I don't know says Denisey we have been very worried about you and all we get for our wory is you with a different name.
Yes says Daniella you could at least have been lying injured somewhere so that we could take turns in nursing you back to health.
Oh dear says Beverly you are so selfish MOD_twr506
Well forgive me for being alive says MOD_twr506
Oh! dear little brother what else has been happening says MOD_twr506 I really missed the Saturday theme nights and the poker games.
Well we had the "Weddings" night which was good says Shanaghy Beverly looked lovely in her white wedding dress.
Except it didn't stay white very long says Krazy1
Why what happened says MOD_twr506
We all poured wine over Beverly while she stood in a bucket says HappyAli
Why says MOD_twr506
It seemed like a good idea at the time says Beverly!!!!!
And last Saturday we had "Pirates" night says Martha where all light and dark rum was free
FREE! Screams MOD_twr506 FREE! oh! no why did I leave the village FREE RUM sob! sob!
But you don't like rum says twr056
Yes but it was free says MOD_twr506 I could get to like it when it's free.
oh! no Sob! Sob!
The crowd dissolves in to laughter at MOD_twr506's plight.
Don't think I have finished with you YET! Says krazy1 quietly to z1zu
Z1zu gulps licks his lips and says no mom
Baby puts her arms around z1zu and says oh! mom don't tease him.
The crowd spills over the street blocking the road every one talking or shouting to each other making a lot of noise, when along comes ken in his delivery van and has to stop because of the people blocking the road.
Leaning out of the window ken says hey let me through I've got a large delivery for Beverly's Bloomers
On the edge of the crowd closest to Beverly's Bloomers bobby says I saw something like this when I was in SA Duffin.....
The crowd collectively (that means all together) start moving away saying things like "left the oven on" and "must dash" and "got things to do"
WAIT! WAIT! Shouts Shellbri
The crowd stops in silence ( I thought they were in the village where's this place silence?)
When bobby says "SA" says Shellbri he means "South Africa"
Oh says the crowd in unison (don't forget that means together)
And when he says "duffing wit Charks" says Shellbri he means "DIVING WITH SHARKS"
Oh says the crowd again in unison
That sounds extremely interesting says MOD_twr506 would you give a talk on Saturday night before the theme night about your experiences bobby I am sure that every one would like to hear about it.
The crowd roars its approval
Bobby looking surprised and stunned says sure I will
The crowd slowly breaks apart the odd bit of conversation like "that sounds really interesting" and "good old bobby" and "wow sharks" could be heard, each going to there own respective homes or destinations leaving Shellbri and bobby standing outside of Beverly's Bloomers
Bobby says to Shellbri that was a big surprise
Not to me it wasn't says Shellbri I knew that they didn't really understand what you were saying and were too uppity to says so, I knew that once it was spelt out for them they would be interested
Thanks darling says bobby I know it was a bit of a joke at first but it was starting to get to me.
Bobby continues saying well darlin I guess we had better put an advert in the village news about Saturday, what shall we do this week
Shellbri looks at bobby and says what about "Imperial Rome" night
Never go were johnny goes
Get all clues together
Those two lines begin with N and G
Scene 7 Ends
Beverly's Bloomers
This Saturday's theme is
"Imperial Rome"
Red White and Rose wine will be free
All other spirits and beer prices will remain low
(A small entrance fee will be charged to cover extra costs)
Hovis Enterprises
Regrettably announce a further price rise
Due to the continuing shortages of raw materials
Ali's Beauty Emporium and Krazy Well Being Ltd
Are pleased to announce "Beauty for All"
Which is their program of
Beauty and hair treatments and products
Full or partial body massages
Now providing treatments for both sex's
For bookings tel: Village 321
Here is the news with your favourite (only) reporter
Stexpepper
Our Top Story
Our Village
The Village Elders announced today the result of their deliberations into renaming the village MOD_twr506 Chairperson of Elders said
"after much deliberation it was decide that the name The Village of Table 1 could not be improved upon and so it will remain the same"
This reporter says that there is more to this than meets the eye, and suspects a cover up.
This reporter assures you that he will hound the elders until answers are provided.
Our other stories tonight
Missing Village children found
Today constable CW with a little help from our village post master returned the children who had got lost in the woods.
This reporter managed to obtain these words from the hero of the moment CW
"Well I tried to imagine what I would do if I was a child lost in the woods and acted upon that which is how I managed to find them"
This reporter says CW deserves a big WELL DONE
The Fishbone Trail
Yes the trail of fishbones between the villages of table 1 and table 6 have mysteriously stopped. There has been no reported sightings |
