A day in the life of the village called table 1
Season 2 scene 8
The places events and characters portrayed in this work are purely fictional any resemblance to people living or dead are purely intentional.
No New Characters
Scene 8 begins
The scene opens outside the village post office were stands nobody
Who the hell is this nobody!
Where is twr506? And
Where is Denisey? And
Where is MOD_twr506? And
Where is Beverly?
Around the corner at that precise moment comes CMHappyAli and Krazy1.
What's this says HappyAli where are the four
Its strange says Krazy1 they are usually here on a Wednesday it is Wednesday isn't it
In the distance they hear the cry of nurseth Martha nurseth Martha wait I'll walk with you.
Arrgghh says HappyAli young chip yes its definitely Wednesday.
Poor boy ever hopeful says Krazy1
So where are the four says Krazy1
At that precise second (not a second earlier or a second later but at that precise second)
Baby and z1zu turned the other corner .
Hello mom says baby what are you doing
Z1zu keeps a discrete silence (the boy knows his place)
Trying to work out when was the last time I saw any of the four says Krazy1
I don't think I've seen them says HappyAli since Imperial Rome at Beverly's Bloomers on Saturday night.
Come to think about it says Krazy1 I'm sure that is the last time I saw them too.
Your right says baby.
Just as baby said that the door to the post office opens and out comes jojomacca and yschi the former (referring to jojomacca) looking extremely tired while the latter (referring to yschi) looks like the cat that got the cream, sleek contented and purring.
Hello yschi says baby how are things between you and jojomacca then
Oh just great says yschi its wonderful and exciting and very extreme some of the things he gets me to do is well you would have to see it to believe it, but he gets tired very quickly and I spend a lot of time waiting.
But for the adrenaline buzz continues yschi and for the great sensual pleasure that I get, its worth waiting.
Tired quickly says jojomacca she has had me up and awake for 72 hours straight I didn't know that anybody could take as much as she does its incredible.
How anybody says jojomacca could get so much pleasure and excitement and stay at it so long.
That's because I had never says yschi played twister before its wonderful.
Well says HappyAli what a weekend it was I thought that the talk bobby gave on South Africa and diving with sharks was the most exciting talk that I've ever been to.
Yes your correct says Krazy1 when he told us about that Great White shark which tried to eat him I was spellbound.
I got to admit says baby that bit frightened me the way he described the shark attacking the boat which he was on with his two friends one the boat owner and the other a policeman.
Yes says HappyAli how he described the shark biting a large chunk out of the back of the boat had me terrified.
I know says yschi I was smacked in the gob the way he described the shark dragging the boat under the water at the back.
You mean gobsmacked says baby to yschi
And the way he told about the boats owner sliding down the tilting rear deck into the sharks mouth to be eaten alive and how bobby tried to grab his hand to attempt to save him was really horrific says HappyAli.
Yes and his friend the policeman says baby being so shocked he was catatonic (that means oh never mind what it means)
It just goes to show says jojomacca how dangerous a job bobby had in South Africa
I cheered at the bit says HappyAli when bobby told how he managed to poke the shark in both eyes so it could not see him.
Me 2 says Krazy1
Me 3 says yschi
Me 4 says baby
Then says Krazy1 how he saved his friend the policeman by swimming 16 miles pulling the half sunk boat behind him holding the anchor chain in his mouth, to reach a safe harbour, was truly heroic.
Yes its made me see bobby in a different light says Krazy1 he is a proper hero like our CW
Some one should inform Hollywood says HappyAli it would make a terrific film
They could get Tom Cruise to play bobby's part says baby
No they need some one bigger says Krazy1 how about George Clooney
No too old says yschi how about Ben Afflec
Yes says baby he would be good as bobby and they could call it "I fought the great white shark"
No says HappyAli it needs to be more snappy
Ha ha ha very funny says Krazy1 how about "Fishy Teeth"
No sounds like a bad dentist says HappyAli how about "Jaws of Death"
That's it say all the girls as one
Sounds rather familiar mutters z1zu to no one in particular
Silence descends upon the group (but they were not hurt as silence is extremely light)
The silence lengthened into a pregnant pause and then into an embarrassing moment
Just as it was about to become unbearable, the door to Beverly's Bloomers opens and out come Shellbri who walks over to join the others.
I heard you talking about bobby's talk says Shellbri I'm glad you enjoyed it that will make bobby very happy
But what about the Imperial Rome night at Beverly's Bloomers says Shellbri did you like that as well
Oh that was magnificent says baby and yschi together.
The costumes that people wore were truly great says HappyAli our Johnny made a striking Centurion
Yes he did says Krazy1 but best of all I'm afraid to say was MOD_twr506 as the Emperor Nero
Oh yes says Shellbri he was good as Nero and he can really play that lute thingy and his singing was rather good as well
But has any of you seen bobby says Shellbri or any of the others since Saturday night
Just at that very moment of speaking the small group hear a noise in the distance getting louder therefore becoming closer until they could make out
Sshhoowwwwwwwww me the way hic burp to go hommmmeeeee I'm tired and I wannnnnttt fart burp hic go to bed hic hic I had a likkle drinkkyyy aboot an hour hiccup phrrrt ago and ittsss burppp gone to my buurrrppp hic head
and around another corner (there are lots of corners to come or go around in the village) comes a large drunken group all singing at the top of their voices, in the group are
MOD_twr506 who says goood mourning hic
Twr506 who says helloooo burp
Beverly who says phart ooooopppppsss
Denisey who says I'm drunk
Bobby who says uugghhh
Hovis who says phart burp spewwwww herrro allllllllllllll
Ken who says hic hic hiccup gurgle gurgle as he finishes off a bottle of wine
Daniella who says burppppp ooooooopppppppsss perdon meeee
Shhhhh! SShhhhhhh! Says MOD_twr506 I wanna I wanna I wanna ziggy zigg arghhh the whole drunken mob falls to the ground larffing
You singgggg---inggggg a spice girllllllsss songggg says Daniella burrrrpp ooppppsss perdon me again
No no no no no YESSSS says MOD_twr560 the mob falls into hysterical larffter once again
Ssssshhhhhh! SSssshhhhhhh! Says MOD_twr506 I wanna I wanna I wanna sayyyyy something to bobby
The larffter slowly goes until all that's left is an occasional giggle MOD_twr506 turns to bobbyb and says Something
Once again the mob collapses into great chest heaving, rib aching spasms of laughter, which eventually dies down at which time hovis says I wanna shay to blobby no I men booby no no no I men bobby, hovis stops looks around and continues I've forgotten
Once again the mob collapses into great chest heaving, rib aching spasms of laughter, which eventually dies down at which time Daniella says bbbbbuuuurrrrrpppppppppp ooppss perdon me
Once again the mob collapses into great chest heaving, rib aching spasms of laughter, which eventually dies down at which time Denisey says I'm very very very drunk hic
Once again the mob collapses into great chest heaving, rib aching spasms of laughter, which eventually dies down at which time ken says me too pppphhaarrrrtttttttttt
Once again the mob collapses into great chest heaving, rib aching spasms of laughter, which eventually dies down at which time twr5006 says I'm pppppppeerrrrsssssssss drunk as well hiccup!
Once again the mob collapses into great chest heaving, rib aching spasms of laughter, which eventually dies down at which time Beverly says bobby yuorrr a GRATE ggguuuyyyyy and I luuuuuuuvvvvvvvvvvv uuuuuu phtt phtt burp oopppss
Once again the mob collapses into great chest heaving, rib aching spasms of laughter, which eventually dies down at which time bobby says sssss oookkkkkk fffaannxxxx fffor a gre a gre a lovely time bbbuuurrrpppp I bbbbrroughtt in 2000 bottttless of wineeeeeeeeee and you hic hic haavvee phartt drunk the lottttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. Ssallll gone not a drippp left
Oh that's sadddd says MOD_twr506 burrpp has it all gone
Yerrrpppp says bobby all gone the ssseller (no) selllller (no) sellerrrr (no) cellar (yes) is empty and poor ken has passed out cold so there is nobody to collect any more sighhhhhh
Oh taat's very very very very extremely sad says Beverly
The mob falls silent and collectively looks sad
Pppphhhrrrrrrtttttttttttt burp hic comes from the unconscious ken
Once again the mob collapses into great chest heaving, rib aching spasms of laugher
HappyAli turns to the others and says I suppose it's up to us to make sure they get home ok
Krazy1 turns to Shellbri and says well what's the theme this week then
Shellbri looks at bobby laying in a drunken stupor and says its "Scottish Highlands" which reminds me I had better put an advert in.
Oh! by now you should
Know everything
Those two lines begin with an O and K
Scene 8 Ends
Beverly's Bloomers
This Saturday's theme is
"Scottish Highlands"
All Blended and single Malt Whiskey will be free
(johnny is limited to 200 bottles)
(A small entrance fee will be charged to cover extra costs)
Hovis's Enterprises
Bakery sub-division
Announce the creation of a new Bread
"Its so light it only contains 1 calorie per Loaf"
To place your order
Tel: - Village 666
Hovis Enterprises
"Village Scrubbers" sub-division
Are pleased to announce a buy 1 get 1 free week
Yes that's correct 2 scrubbers for the price of 1
Fed up with working all day only to come home to a dirty house
Call Village Scrubbers we do yo |
