| Author |
Message |
CMwonka
Moderator
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# Posted: 20 Jul 2008 14:02 - Edited by: CMwonka
Reply
I'm sure some one's going to have a go at me
for this.... so go ahead girls!!
Girls -- Please have a sense of humour!
..................................................................................... ...................................
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge
of men and women differ so much. And I never
have figured out the whole Venus and Mars
thing. I have never figured out why men think
with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, Kimmy and I
were getting into bed. Well, the passion
starts to heat up, and she eventually says,
'I don't feel like it, I just want you to
hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every husband on
the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional
needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy
your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
'Can't you just love me for who I am and not
what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen
that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off
of work to spend time with her. We went out
to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked
around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take, so I told
her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I
said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewellery department where
she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you... she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing
me because she asked for a tennis bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing
sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this
is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted
out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her
jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while. You're just not in
touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a
woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was
going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you
just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight
either....but at least my Kimmy knows I'm
smarter than her.
 
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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 20 Jul 2008 14:16 - Edited by: kimmy
Reply
pmsl grrrrrrrrr
Hey you may be smarter than me in one way but I am smarter than you in another...
hmmmm I say you are getting none for a month!!!
hehehehehe
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Bobbybuttmunch
Member
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# Posted: 20 Jul 2008 15:01
Reply
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
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craigd
Member
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# Posted: 20 Jul 2008 15:10
Reply
hahaha lmao pmsl is this story true?? i have to use that one willy hahaha
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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 20 Jul 2008 17:38
Reply
hehehehehe craig you've made me laugh with your question, bless ya pmsl
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petey7
Member
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# Posted: 20 Jul 2008 18:01
Reply
lmao
very good
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ynot12
Member
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# Posted: 20 Jul 2008 20:32
Reply
hahaha!!! can't be true. no man on earth would have the guts, or be stupid enough, to try that. Although im sure some of us would like too..
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Gudge
Member
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# Posted: 22 Jul 2008 13:04
Reply
Wonka I think your the sensitive kind of Man. Read the below and tell me if I am right. LMAO
The Sensitive Man
A woman meets a man in a bar.
They talk; they connect; they end
up leaving together.
They get back to his place,
and as he shows her around his
apartment.
She notices that one wall of his
bedroom is
completely filled with soft, sweet,
cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the
bedroom,
with hundreds and hundreds of cute,
cuddly teddy bears carefully placed
in rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken
quite some time to lovingly arrange them
and she was immediately touched
by the amount of thought he had
put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along
the bottom shelf,
medium-sized bears covering the
length of the middle shelf,
and huge, enormous bears running
all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an
obviously masculine guy
to have such a large collection of
Teddy Bears,
She is quite impressed by his
sensitive side.
but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and
continue talking and,
after awhile, she finds herself
thinking,
'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy
could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future
father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him
lightly on the lips
He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds,
and he romantically lifts her in
his arms and carries her into his bedroom
where they rip off each other's
clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she
responds with more passion,
more creativity, more heat than she
has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night
of raw passion with this sensitive guy,
they are lying there together in
the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently
strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well,how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her,
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Gudge
Member
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# Posted: 22 Jul 2008 13:05
Reply
The guy gently smiles at her,
strokes her cheek,
looks deeply into her eyes,
and says:
'Help yourself to any prize
from the middle shelf'
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sexylady
Member
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# Posted: 22 Jul 2008 13:11
Reply
hehe pmslllllllllll thats wicked did she belt him one lol
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warburtons
Member
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# Posted: 22 Jul 2008 15:39
Reply
hahaha gudge wcb to the forum..........cracker mate
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