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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 01:50 - Edited by: kimmy
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I thought you would all like to know what happens to my hubby in a typical few hours of his pregnancy....
4am
It's like a new routine for him, he starts to stir.
I'm already awake, hardly sleep these days through his screams during the night about watermelons.
I look at him & say "Is Charlie using your bladder as a squeeze toy again?"
He gives out a little grunt as he waddles off to the toilet.
I sat there thinking to myself, I should try & get some sleep he could be there a while, then he shouts up...
"kimmy my cravings are going wild, could you please get me a Barney Le'dinosaure burger oh oh please don't forget the cabbage this time, you always forget the cabbage, thats the best part!"
I sighed & said "Of course my love anything for you."
So I went downstairs & started making it for him.
5am
He finally waddles downstairs with the look of relief on his face. I took one look at him & thought to myself I could be asleep by now, but instead I said to him.
"Your food has gone cold, do you want me to make you some fresh?"
He replied,
"No it's ok honey, I will still eat it, all tastes the same to me. Charlie wouldn't give up on my bladder so I couldn't get off the loo grrrr.... Oh dear here I go again, I think I will just take my food to the bathroom."
"Ok, I think I will try to get a few more hours sleep, if you need anything just call me." I wondered back up to bed, while he was still waddling to the stairs.
6am
Willy is routing through the cupboard & draws, he starts talking to himself,
"Where are those damn rennies, between my pregnancy & my wifes cooking the heartburn is so bad, oh no I need to pee again, Charlie can't you just wait until I have found the rennies so I have at least some control over some part of my body?
I guess not grrrr."
7am
He finally makes it back to bed but wakes me & says "Where are all the rennies? I can't find one, this heartburn is almost unbearable!"
To which I replied "You ate them all last night lke they were sweets, do you want me to go out & buy you some more?"
He looked at me like I asked him to fly to outer space & said
"Well duh I can't sit here & suffer, this is all your fault i'm going through this!"
As I started getting dressed, I thought to myself, just take a deep breath it's just the hormones, I wish he would stop blaming me though it's half his fault too!
8am
I returned back home to find willy sitting at the bottom of the stairs crying, I went over to him & said "What's wrong honey?"
He looked at me "I feel fat & ugly, my body doesn't want to function properly, I keep snapping at you. I keep hearing noises outside, I swear I can hear someone whispering... (where's the watermelon, we will get our hands on it even if it's the last thing we do.) I feel like i'm going mad."
I held him in my arms & said to him "You're not fat & ugly, your hormones are just all over the place. I don't think you're going mad cos I keep hearing it too, do you think it could be kahuna & Tina?"
He looked scared "Oh god I never thought of that."
He started rubbing his belly saying "Don't worry Charlie, we won't let those evil people get their hands on you."
I helped him stand up & said to him "Come on i'll make you a nice hot chocolate, we have a busy day ahead of us. You have your lamaze class at 11am."
9am
Willy is struggling to stand up from the kitchen table "damn this bump is getting big I can barely move any more, typical I need to pee again, Charlie will you ever leave my bladder alone?"
As he manages to stand up he feels a little kick in his belly " wow Charlie that's a strong kick, kimmy come here quick. He starts making his way to the stairs, "kimmy where are you? Of all times for my wife to disappear it has to be now! Oh god these stairs are getting more difficult to climb every day. Oh no look at the time, I better get in the shower I have my lamaze class at 11.
10am
Willy is in the bedroom frantically looking through the wardrobe.
"Why can't I find anything to fit me boohoo, my purple pimp suits don't fit at all any more, might as well throw it all out, nothing will ever fit me again, i'm so fat & ugly, why on earth is kimmy still with me?" He goes over to the bed & lies down & starts crying uncontrollably. I quickly went over to him,
"Hey honey what's all this about? Come on I have some new clothes downstairs for you, I kinda figured you need some more with your bump getting so big."
He looked at me like I just said we had won the lottery.
"Right hurry up & get dressed we need to leave for your lamaze class"
He excitedly says, "Oh we can't be late for that, I will be right down."
11am
We arrived at the class, willy is looking around at all of the other expecting parents with wide eyes.
He quietly whispers in my ear, "I don't feel so bad now, have ya seen the size of them? They look like they're ready to pop, at least I still have a good shape to my body."
"shhh willy they'll hear you, come on lets make our way inside."
As we walked in willy started to hesitate, "do I really need to do this love? I know how to breath."
While I was getting the first sentence out "No you don't have to but....... Willy where have you gone?" I looked around the room & seen a picture of a family eating a watermelon, "damn that kahuna & Tina."
I walked out & he was already waiting by the car, "Right Mrs first I need to pee then I need a Barney Le'dinosaure burger, with cabbage."
12pm
We arrived at the restaurant, willy ran to the toilet as quickly as his bump would let him, I sat down & ordered for us. When he came back he asked me what I had ordered him, "A Barney Le'dinosaure burger with cabbage honey."
He looked at me like he was ready to have a hissy fit, "Just one?? Why the hell did you order just one? I am eating for 2 now, one won't fill me up, not with this hungry little one in my belly."
He must have realised the hurt in my face, "Damn it here I go again, having a go at you, I will ask the waiter to get another when he brings our food."
After we finished eating willy wanted to start shopping for little Charlie, he was dancing around with excitement when I said that I would love to.
"Ok lets go" he says with so much enthusiasm in his voice, I thought to myself, I haven't seen him this happy since he told me about the baby, then I had a flash back... Oh that's right they all started winding us up straight after that.
I took his hand & said to him "Are you looking forward to Charlie being born?"
He had the widest grin on his face then said "Yip in dee dee, although it can't be true about the watermelon thing right?"
hehehehehehehe
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petey7
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 02:02
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i cant be bothered readin all that !!!!!
when im more awake i will
looks good
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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 05:17
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lmao petey
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nutcase
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 06:07
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well i never knew he ws sufering that bad oh well he s a man he should handel it lol
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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 06:14
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hahahahaha
That's the whole point Tina, he's a man.... He can't handle it lmao
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nutcase
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 08:36
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if he can't handel it now how will he cope when the baby is born
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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 08:58
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hahahaha
It's just the hormones & the watermelon talk Tina, he'll be the perfect parent when our little Charlie is born.
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craigd
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:03
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this thread just seems like a dig at men is it not?
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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:06
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No craig, I just thought I would share with everyone what my hubby is going through with his pregnancy, I am just excited at the up coming new addition to our cyber family.
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nutcase
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:07
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lol but if u think it is then u must know it's true craig lol
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craigd
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:07
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im excited too we need a bit of colour here so red would be a good addition to the site
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craigd
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:09
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well nutcase to be honest it is true if i was preganant i would probally kill myself u women are so brave
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nutcase
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:09
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tell me about it as i am pregnant just found out
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craigd
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:11
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is anyone not preganant around here lol r u really whos is it??
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nutcase
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:11
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yes realy u r the first in the forum to know about it. It's my partners
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craigd
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:14
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ohh wow congratulations nutty i feel priviledged to be first to no u should make a thread to announce it. got any names in mind??
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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:34
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lol craig the only colour that will be around the forum is the pink/blue clothes, there will be no blimmin red grrrrr hehe
Congratulations Tina :))
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craigd
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:35
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i predict a girl for kimmy and a boy for nutty or half girl half thing for kimmy haha
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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:38
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grrrrrr craig it will not be a half thing, our baby will either be a perfect little boy or girl.
I have a feeling willy is going to give birth to a boy lol
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craigd
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:40
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eww then it will grow up to be a man melon
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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 09:42
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noooooooo
It is not going to be a watermelon grrrrrrr
lmao
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nutcase
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 10:08
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hahahahahahahahahahahaha
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sexylady
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 13:52
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lol melonman seems to be handleing it just fine
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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 14:12
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I agree with you sexy, I thought it would be alot worse lol
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sexylady
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 14:13
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lol but its still early days
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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 14:14
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Very true but he only has a couple of weeks left, I am expecting the worst in the last week... Infact i'm not looking forward to his moods in the last week lol
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craigd
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 15:09
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nah im sure he'll get better i might take him down while hes weak hahahaha(evil)
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kimmy
Moderator
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 17:00
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Oh craig you will have to get passed me first, when my hubby is too far gone in his pregnancy he's going to need alot of protection from you lot lol
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nutcase
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 17:24
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i found wear wonka is hiding lol
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craigd
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2008 18:18
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got his hiding place thanks nutty now for the extermination
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