A day in the life of the village called table 1
The Prequel to the Prequel Scene 1

The places events and characters portrayed in this work are purely fictional any resemblance to people living or dead are purely intentional.

Characters

Beverly = a somewhat dominant character of the female type - blond hair(?) blue eyes and a figure which other females are jealous of.

Denisey = a kindly but severe person of the female type – auburn hair brown eyes and despite being almost the oldest of the group still has a girlish charm and a mischievous personality.

MOD_twr506 = the oldest twin, a jack the lad person of the male type – mousey brown hair brown eyes and a rakish good looks mixed with a dare devil character that somehow always seems to get into trouble.

Twr506 = the youngest twin, a mild but deceptively intelligent person of the male type – mousey brown hair brown eyes with a plain but pleasant face.

Bobbybuttmunch = a slightly chubby youth of the male type – black hair brown eyes and a cheeky grin that promises much looked upon by the elders as an adventurer and entrepreneur, known to 1 and all as bobbyb.

Hughjarse = a rather stout individual of the male type – black hair (starting to thin at an early age) brown eyes - a joker, a clown of the group always has an opinion which he espouses to all and sundry.

Scene 1 begins

Notes on scene 1 The dialogue is filmed in the native gruntish an English translation were necessary is provided in square brackets underneath.

The scene opens in the year 10,000 BC at the entrance to the cave that is called village 1 to the left of the cave mouth stands a boulder and crouched behind the boulder waiting are the twins MOD_twr506 and twr506.

MOD_twr5606 turns to twr506 and says grunt grunt grrruntr Beverly Denisey
[MOD_twr506 says we will jump out and frighten Beverly and Denisey]

gr grunnt says twr506 to his twin brother
[why? Says twr506 to his twin brother]

MOD_twr506 says gr grunnt grrruuntt grun
[MOD_twr506 says why? Because it will be fun]

just then from out of the cave mouth appear two stunningly beautiful scantily dressed females
MOD_twr506 jumps out from behind the boulder arms raised fingers curved into claws and says ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr
[ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr] (yes it is the same sound in English as in gruntish)

thwack was the next sound as Beverly's dainty size 7 foot hit MOD_twr506 between the legs and bonnk was the following sound as the large stick in Denisey's hand bounced off MOD_twr506's head ooooouuuuuufffffffffffftttt was the only sound MOD_twr506 made as he fell to the ground.

Grrrruuuuuuuuuuuuunt gggr gruu gree uunt ferrri says twr506 hurrn MOD_twr506 grrnn
[Ha ha ha lmao its only me says twr506 poor old MOD_twr506 it always goes wrong for him]

grrrrrrrrrr! grrrrrrrrrr Denisey g Beverly gruuuu grunnn - ttttt gggrrun - ttt
[sorry sorry says Denisey and Beverly instinct took over and we hit out before realising it was you MOD_twr506]

Denisey Beverly and twr506 look down upon MOD_twr506 and laughingly help him to his feet
At that precise moment ( I don't know how they knew it was that precise moment because time as a concept had not been invented then) from around the corner came a noise somewhat like this –

Ggggggrrrreeewww ggggggrrrwww phart! burb! oooppppsss! Gruuuuuu ggggggrrrwww
[Lovelyyyyyy Lovelyyyyyy phart! burp! oooppppsss! Your all Lovelyyyyyy ]

and following the sound came bobbyb staggering from side to side and supported by hughjarse who upon seeing the 4 dropped bobbyb and said.

Gggggggrrreeewwww gww r guuu bobbyb gy gf gfr guh gjktht gasp gqw
[Lovelyyyyyy friends I found bobbyb like this I don't know what's wrong with him he is all floppy and nasty smells keep coming from him]

at this bobbyb sat upright and said

swer gi gww
[hi friends of mine I was cleaning out this coconut shell with hot water from the geyser and I got distracted and left it with some grass seed and some mould in the hot water, when I remembered about it and went back to it there was a funny smell so I tried drinking it and wow it makes you happy wanna try it]

(yes - swer gi gww really means all of that)

the 4 plus hughjarse all tried the mixture and tried the mixture and tried the mixture until they also fell into a heap on the ground and for a long time all that could be heard was
burp! phart! buuuurrrrpppppppp! ppphhhaarrrtttt! Snore! Ughhh! Snoreeeeee!
burp! phart! buuuurrrrpppppppp! ppphhhaarrrtttt! Snore! Ughhh! Snoreeeeee!
burp! phart! buuuurrrrpppppppp! ppphhhaarrrtttt! Snore! Ughhh! Snoreeeeee!

The sun went down and rose again until it was at full height in the sky when the 4 plus bobbyb sat up and looked around hughjarse was still snoring and lying on the ground.

git t grt ve Beverly
w de frt Denisey
o no noddd twr506
y u ji gyn MOD_twr506 cswe gyn a

[What The hell was that drink? says Beverly]
[Wow it gives a great lift says Denisey]
[Oh my head says twr506]
[I thunk I am still drunk says MOD_twr506 whatever drunk is]

y u jiii hujn bobbyb y lkjh alcohol
[I think I can make it again says bobbyb I shall call it alcohol]

just then hughjarse sits bolt upright eyes closed and says

ggggggggrrrrruuuunnnntttt qwerty qwerty
[I had a vision of your future descendants bobbyb you will create a long lineage of purveyors of alcohol until many years in the future one descendant will temporarily break with tradition and do something called "doffing wit charks in SA" whatever that is]

then hughjarse promptly falls back into a alcoholic stupor.

The 4 plus bobbyb look at each other and Denisey says

Woweeeeeee oi pige hughjarse gluto sewnby
[Whoa do u think hughjarse has become a soothsayer]

isselieeeet grrrrruuuuuuntter swecb toffaw says Beverly
[I think your correct says beverly]

zeeeeppppppilllll grgrgrgruunntteerrrrr basw do glumpy says twr506
[do you think he will have more visions today says twr056]

aspen bilge ggruuuuuuuuuuuuuuunntttsssss oilud xas jublido qaz cadsit glevffffer grunter welkbee swiap glumfo dot says MOD_twr506
[NO says MOD_twr506]

grunyyyyyyyy says bobbyb tyg – vexsad grunttttt norwichhhhh blahhhhh!
[My friends says bobbyb I have made another drink this time I added some fruit and woweeee!! It packs a smoothness that belies a hidden kick that leaves one wanting to refresh ones palette I know I can make it again says bobbyb I shall call it wine, wanna try it].

Qwsaddddd!! Gretsburghur! Nogothin? Says Beverly and Denisey
[Wine says Beverly and Denisey that sounds wonderful!]

poilfgtry says Denisey
[Smells delicious says Denisey]

kierthgfwqzxxxx says Beverly
[and tastes like a bit of heaven says Beverly]

Argh! Sighs every1 collectively (that means all together) in a satisfied manner.

Scene 1 ends

johnnyB has got a mission, can you find out what the mission is.

To Destroy The Ambiance And
Make The Village Less Than That Which
The Village Is.


Don't miss the thrilling second episode of the Prequel to the prequel.

Watch out for the next episode next time.

Ha ha ha ha.....Love it JB. This is why I joined the forum all those months ago. Sad thing is, I still talk the same way now that my ancestors did 10.000 years ago. Still make the farty noises too......ha ha ha ha. Keep up the good work and keep bringing me those smiles...........You're the best.


UUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alas JB i have to say i only got halfway



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZ_XwLSN45I

luv the stories johnny sooooooo glad they are back

Yay!

Good show, keep at it!
=)

fandabidozy jb...excellent work..xxxx

LMAO Johnny

Love the way the stories are going, me and den enjoying wine and poor OLD twr getting a beating every week I hope it continues :p

My friday morning is back to normal breakfast and a read of the village scene.

Thank you xx

Beverly

LMAO LMAO LMAO!!! Loved it. Might just have to visit the village. Still L-ingMAO.

I agree Paul - Johnnyb's post is quality - you should do one for the Pot Limt and Hold'em 6 tables bro.

Lol Johnny, lo'k yew ere bor, oi nt arf mis'd is ere ole villuge tearl 'er yar's,
roight noice ta av a gud ole read whilst 'avn ma dorkey. 'At wuz a hooly good point a' ale 'ow.
Cood blaarst, 'at 'air Bev shees a botty lit'le owd madam, giv me a roight sole'n she did, wunner 'em furreners. 'At mawther's a rare bonnka.
Dasn't ev'n go down tha orchid t' scrump 'em 'air apples on ma own, in case oi git a helleva sussucka a'hoind th' lugs.
Oi tell yew suff'n else, 'n' 'ats a fact, be yew 'ware young flacket bev 'nd howd yew haard, oi all'ast come owt on top :p lol x

TWR


Eh?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

lo'k yew ere trev it roight noice of yew ta ssa yem noice fings aboott is ere ole villuge hales yew ave a noice ol read and dun ewe wurree ewe al'ast come owt on top ats a fact.

Lol Bobby, its old suffolk dialect with a few mistakes possibly, or was it the beating affecting my speech ???
And jb lmao nice one :)

Thanks for the translation Johnny. I thought Cumbrians were bad. Great to see it back friend, there are a lot of memories in that village.

To give younger members some info: The "village" is built up around the characters on table 1 and has it's own community and places. The first one that springs to mind is "THE BEVERLY ARMS". where boozy, froggy, Ali, Denisey and Bev of course, spent hours drinking wine and knitting jumpers for the "Umpas" in the chocolate factory.

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