A day in the life of the village called table 1
The Prequel to the Prequel Scene 2
The places events and characters portrayed in this work are purely fictional any resemblance to people living or dead are purely intentional.
Characters
Hovis = a rather deceptive individual of the male type – reedy whispery hair already showing an early baldness, grey cold eyes, at first sight a person to avoid upsetting but upon coming to know him a warmth of personality washes over producing a most likeable person.
Krazy1 = a fiery individual of the female type – deep copper red hair and green eyes provide her with a breath taking beauty, quick to anger but a staunchly loyal friend.
Eddie = a slow but steady character of the male type – completely bald with green eyes make people suspect that he was once a ginger, reliable and steadfast friend.
johnnyB (AKA=JB AKA=Johnny) = a mysterious person of the male type? (This is not a provable fact) – a description is not available, rarely seen often quoted or referred to, considered to be a partially mythical figure used by the elders to frighten the masses into obedience, believed by many to be the creator.
Scene 2 begins
Notes on scene 1 The viewers disliked the gruntish and having to read the translation so all further episodes have been dubbed in English
The scene opens in the year 10,000 BC at the outside of an entrance to the cave that is called village 1 and to the left of the cave mouth stands a boulder and crouched behind the boulder waiting are the twins MOD_twr506 and twr506.
MOD_twr506 says we will jump out and frighten Beverly and Denisey
why? Says twr506 to his twin brother
MOD_twr506 says why? Because it will be fun (as he says this MOD_twr506 puts a half of coconut in between his legs and the other half on his head).
just then from out of the cave mouth appear two stunningly beautiful scantily dressed females
MOD_twr506 jumps out from behind the boulder arms raised fingers curved into claws and says ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr
thwack was the next sound as Beverly's dainty size 7 foot hits MOD_twr506 in the stomach and crack was the following sound as the large stick in Denisey's hand bounced off MOD_twr506's chin. ooooouuuuuufffffffffffftttt was the only sound MOD_twr506 made as he fell to the ground.
Ha ha ha lmao its only me says twr506 poor old MOD_twr506 it always goes wrong for him
sorry sorry says Denisey and Beverly instinct took over and we hit out before realising it was you MOD_twr506
Denisey Beverly and twr506 look down upon MOD_twr506 and laughingly help him to his feet
At that precise moment ( I don't know how they knew it was that precise moment because time as a concept had not been invented then) they noticed krazy1 (scantily dressed) and eddie half running, half walking and half jogging (yes I know that is 3 halves, but mathematics has not been invented yet) coming across the flatlands towards them.
Upon reaching the small group Krazy1 says uh! boys village 6 raid I fight
I just watched krazy1 beat the filling (or at least something beginning with f) out of 3 lads from village 6 says eddie.
I tell you truthfully it was a fearsome thing to watch says eddie they went down 1, 2, and 3 and ran off back to their mummies.
Bad boys try attack our village gasps krazy1
Have you seen hovis says eddie he was out there as well grovelling near the fire pits and geysers laughing fit to burst he was.
Hovis laugh like lunatic says krazy1 gasping for breath.
Just at that very minute or it might have been a little bit later from around the corner came a noise somewhat like this –
Yyyyoooooooooooooooooo yyyyooooooooooooooooooo yo! Hoorah for me hoorah.
Followed by the appearance of hovis.
Who upon seeing the group stops and says I did it I did it I did it.
What did you do hovis says Denisey
I made this says hovis holding up a large lump of something that was still steaming and a golden brown in colour.
Did it hurt when it came out says twr506 causing every 1 to chuckle out loud.
No says hovis its food I shall call it hovis after me, wanna try some.
They all look aghast at this suggestion and at first reluctantly one by one they try it, but upon finding it pleasant to the taste buds they try it more enthusiastically until it was all gone.
Woweee says Beverly that was not only nice but also filling can you make more? Hovis.
Yes I am certain that I can says hovis.
So says MOD_twr506 (in a smarmy sounding voice) how did you discover the secret of how to make it and what did you think you were making. Do tell.
Well to be honest I was trying to make beer like bobbyb did says hovis but I used a different type of grass and then I got distracted by krazy1 beating the sugar (or something beginning with s) out of those 3 lads from village of table 6 who tried to attack me and I used double the amount of grass. Which formed into a paste then into a sort of soggy sticky lump I realised it had gone wrong so I threw it away.
Why are you telling us about the failures hovis says MOD_twr506 (in an angry sounding voice) we want to know how you made hovis hovis.
That's just it says hovis it went down that hole were the fire is and got blown out again the outside was all burnt but when I pulled that away I had the hovis left.
Then I tried using different types of grass says hovis and ended up making this, hovis produces a lump of sweet smelling crumbly stuff which I shall also call hovis. Wanna try some?
Every1 tries the new sweet lump and agrees that it is even nicer than the first lump they had tried.
Every 1 should eat hovis says hovis
Hmmmmm!! Not sure about that as a slogan says twr506
Yes says Krazy1 it has connotations of ritual cannibalism and a religious overtone that smacks of a desire to be immortalised as well as a sexual implication in a Freudian fashion, maybe you should reconsider the name.
Every one looks at krazy1 in stunned disbelieve.
Whoa! krazy1 my love I see you in a new light says hovis your not just a beautifully fierce weapon of mass distraction but you also contain a presence of mind and an understanding of physchology. I love it.
Thank you hovis says krazy1 I try to use my intelligence intelligently also I try to be more female and a conversationalist, whilst being less male and aggressive. At least that's what Johnny says
Jb always espouses love and peace says Beverly.
Yes says Denisey jb is a staunch advocate for peace.
Well now getting back to this new food what are you going to call it says twr506
How about calling the first 1 bread says eddie it's a good solid name that has no hidden meaning and the second 1 cake because that was my mum's name.
just then hughjarse sits bolt upright eyes closed and says
I had a vision of your future hovis you will create a long lineage of bakers
then hughjarse promptly falls back into an alcoholic stupor.
He said "B A K E R S" says twr506 loudly so all could hear.
I wonder what 1 of those is says eddie
Well we now have beer and wine and bread and cake says eddie what more can we ask for.
Hhhhhhmmmmmm! beer and wine and bread and cake says the group (one after another as if chanting) beer and wine and bread and cake, beer and wine and bread and cake.
(I the narrator wonder if there is a lion, tinman and scarecrow anywhere around)
Smells delicious says Denisey
and tastes like a bit of heaven says Beverly
Argh! Sighs every1 collectively (that means all together) in a satisfied manner.
Scene 2 ends
johnnyB has got a mission, can you find out what the mission is.
village Life Should Be Idealistic Where
A Person Can Be Assured Of A
Happy And Peaceful
Don't miss the thrilling third episode of the Prequel to the prequel.
Watch out for the next episode next time. |
