The crowd surges like a school of fish and mutterings of "half price" and "good old bobbyb" and "lets get them in before he changes his mind" can be heard
I am on duty at the moment says CW I will call in a bit later if your still going bobbyb
Ok CW says bobbyb you will be more than welcome.
CW goes off in the direction of the village police house, whilst every one else goes into Beverly's Bloomers.
Already seated inside are danm, situpandbeg, vogonjeltz, hughjarse, dazza, cuckooclock, eddie and krazy1.
Every body this is wasbudd our new barmaid says bobbyb
Wasbudd this is everybody continues bobbyb.
Hello and what's everybody having says wasbudd turning on a dazzling smile and lots of charm.
Achooo! Says Beverly I just can not stop sneezing today
What you ned says Denisey is some medicinal lubrication
Oh I might be able to manage a medicinal Baileys or two says Beverly As you know I don't drink normally except on days that have a "Y" in them, hmm lets see today is Friday yes that has a "Y" so its ok!
Oh! Says twr506 I didn't know that alcohol stops you sneezing.
It doesn't says wasbudd but it stops you form remembering why it bothers you.
Everybody in the pub dissolves into laughter.
Your cute says wasbudd to twr506 are you romantically involved at the present time.
Gulp! No says twr506 in a squeaky sounding voice
Don't go away cutie says wasbud to twr506 I just got to serve these customers and I'll be back lets get to know each other.
Gulp! Splutter! Oh! Mummy says twr506 looking deathly pale.
Wasbudd gives Beverly and Denisey a quick wink and a smile as they laugh at twr506's predicament.
Hey Beverly says Denisey I got a dozen bunches of red roses for Valentine's day did you.
Yes says Beverly I got a dozen bunches as well.
MOD_twr506 looks pleased and says Hmm Hmm as if clearing his throat.
Why MOD_twr506 says Beverly were they from you? Is it you who signs the card "from your secret Valentine Love from MOD_twr506 "
Why MOD_twr506 Says Denisey turning on her best girlish smile it must have cost you a fortune
Ha ha ROFL says twr506 it did but not intentionally he saw a sign that said buy 1 get 1 free he thought that meant singular roses so he ordered 12, but the sign was referring to bunches.
Wasbudd returns to the group after serving dazza, danm, vognojeltz and situpandbeg
Right says wasbudd let me get you a drink I make a mean cocktail any type you like or my own personal invention that I call the "Surprise Surprise"
Why do you call it that says Krazy1
Well says wasbudd its because you drink one and "Surprise Surprise" you wake up 3 days latter.
Hey I will have two of those says hughjarse
Make it "surprise surprise" all round says bobbyb we could do with a new taste sensation.
So the party starts.
The sun sets and the moon and stars come out, the sun rises,
The sun sets and the moon and stars come out, the sun rises,
The sun sets and the moon and stars come out, the sun rises,
And all that can be heard is
"wooohooo" "shooooooper" "oooppppssss sooroz" "burp" Phart" scattered in amongst "for his a jolly good fellow" and "roll out the barrel well have a barrel of fun" and "wowweeeeee\"
Inside the pub a general scene of merriment and joviality (that means they were happy) prevails to the observant watcher the following would stand out.
C u jimmie says woosh
What's "c u jimmie" mean says danm
U eny good tat sowing stitch tat says woosh
What's "eny" mean says vogonjeltz
Jibbb er jabber swal dip says woosh
What's that mean says situpandbeg
Eye c u says woosh
I fink woosh has descended to jockish says dazza now we have no chance of understanding him
At long last the door to Beverly's Bloomers opened and out stepped Denisey, followed by MOD_twr506, twr506 and Beverly.
I fink I am shtilll under the affluence of incerhol says Denisey Ooppsss ouch! she continues falling on to her bum.
I canttttt feeel anyfinkkk at all says Beverly bending down to help Denisey up "Pphharrtttttt" oopss pardon me giggles Beverly
OH my poor aching head says twr506I feeeeeeeeeellll sick going to the corner falling to his knees and head down BELCH! Burrrppp! Oh that's better he continues
I can not see anyfink says MOD_twr506 I am blind he sobs oh no wot will I do.
Open your eyes dopey says Beverly then you will be able to see.
Oh my God says MOD_twr506 I can't thank you enuff I really fort I was blind!
Just then the door opened and wasbudd appeared.
You were magnificent and very gentle twr506 says wasbudd blowing him a kiss she went back into Beverly's Bloomers larffing.
The 3 look at twr506 and say in complete synchronisation (that's a big word also meaning at the same time) what did you do twr506.
I don't know says twr506 looking shocked, worried and confused all at once, I remember getting inside Beverly's Bloomers but after that it's a complete blank until now.
Just then jojomacca the village post master came out of the post office and waks across to the 4.
Hey up ewe'l sure b glad oi looks for u boiz an galz a courier bort u inport ant lettrz from lunon yez all way from lunon. Oi b plizzed oi get rid o them.
Beverly and MOD_twr506 took the letters from jojomacca.
It's a reply from sotherby's about those family heirlooms that have been passed down through he ages says Beverly she quickly opened the letter and read to the others "Dear Blah Blah" "the box full of what you thought were pretty coloured shiny pebbles is in fact a box of pretty coloured shiny pebbles and as such is intrinsically (that's a posh word for basically) worthless."
Oh dear says Beverly I was hoping.
I also have a reply from sotherby's says MOD_twr506 openening his letter quickly he read to the others "Dear Blah blah blah" "the box of rolled tree bark and half coconut shells have got the historians in a frenzy."
Is that good says twr506
MOD_twr506 continued reading "they have been carbon dated to 10,000 years BC and identified as the earliest known body armour previously only ever seen on cave wall paintings"
That sounds good says Denisey
MOD_twr506 continued reading "Historians say this proves that man is intrinsically a violent creature with a penchant (that's a big word which means liking) for warfare"
Oh MOD_twr506 says Beverly that's so so so what?? Does it mean??
MOD_twr506 continued reading "they say the value to historical knowledge that this discovery brings is beyond price, however they are willing to offer you 20million pounds for the artefacts."
WOOOWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE we are rich shouts MOD_twr506
Scene 2 ends
Any thoughts on johnnyB's mission.
JohnnyB Looks Upon Table 1 As His Domain And
Will Not Be Pleased With Anyone Who Will
Try To Upset The Players Or
To Destroy The Ambiance And
Make The Village Less Than That Which
The Village Is.
village Life Should Be Idealistic Where
A Person Can Be Assured Of A
Happy And Peaceful
place To Come And Relax In
For The Foreseeable future And
A Haven For The Weary.
Long Live The Village
Long Live The Villagers
Time.
That's the end of the lost season and for the time being the end of the village.
Just a minute creator
Yes narrator
Haven't you forgot a few things
Like what narrator
Like explaining the fishbone trail and what twr506 did with wasbudd
Argh! Narrator those are tales of another tail an avenue to trail another time. |
