Your Honour:

a tape came to my knoledge. Can i press play?

(manly evil voice saying )
placer diz:
i may try to bribe the judge tooo
i have a bunch of chocolate left over


After the defendant knew i had this tape he came to me and said "u r soooo on my list now"


Please your honour i need to be in witness/lawyer/snitch protection program.

lol

If you need a safe house jotster you can come here. I have 4 Rottweilers and 16 Kittens to help protect you.
Just be careful of the Kittens as they are trained to lick you to death.

Thank you mr. Swampy.

Are you with witness protection program?

Pheeeeew, i think i´m safe ( bringing a box full of mice ).

lol

Your Honour: the following statements were made by jaroftuna, they show he is involved in illegall actions! first he commits the crime of having knowlege, then he ilegitemaly transports mice. i bring this to the court attention because he wants to sue me and he is not a man in good standing as you can see!!!! i dont want to sue this man. i just him placed in a str8 jacket .

a tape came to my knoledge. Can i press play?
Pheeeeew, i think i´m safe ( bringing a box full of mice ).

oh noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

The str jacket again!!

Someone help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Your honor, since I've been paid in full (thanks placer), I'd like to take on juicyjot as my next client
I can verify that, though completely nutters, jot poses no threat to anyone. my client wouldn't hurt a fly (there was just the one incident, but it was ruled self-defense) and after undergoing intensive break-dance therapy, he now is in complete control of all his limbs and no longer needs his straitjacket

»» ERM ERM .... ««

»» What is goin on here in MY COURTROOM ««

____________________________
»» 1st of... ««

»» Since when does pets are allowed in this courtroom ?? ««

»» Mrs Handwoman You must leave your 2 headed dog outside this court !! ««

»» Or your client will be immediatly declared GUILTY ««

______________________________
»» Secondly.. ««

»» Mr. Tuga you need to explain to me why your tape recording sounds like a woman talking? ««

»» Then ... ««

»» witness/lawyer/snitch protection program.?? ««

»» With Mr 60?? ««

»» For your information Swampy60 never been on the list of the protection agency ««

»» Plus ... ««

»» It might be a trap since you are the one who made the most accusations on Mr. 60 ««

»» So I dont think you got all your head back since your therapy ««

»» I think you might need a revalution of your case ««

____________________________
»» As for you Mr Placer... ««

»» I need you to bring your bank account book to see if realy you took loads of the accusator's chips ««

»» Your lawyer did a good job of escaping the subject ««

»» But words arent all I need to make my JUDGEMENT ««

____________________________
»» Finaly ... ««

»» Mrs Handwoman.... ««

»» Now you ask to defend Mr Tuga on his insanity case? ««

»» Hmmm.... ««

»» You are like every attorney in this world ««

»» Doing it for the money ««

»» No matter if your client is guilty or innocent ««

»» You wonder why im saying this? ««

»» Herse 2 quotes from you in the last 2 days ««



»» There for I need you to tell me why you wana defend someone who you think is completly insane ««

»»

Sorry about the puppies, your honor...they have been kenneled. Don't worry, this place is not going to the dogs
Mind if I stay in this bath though?


As a lawyer, I understand the importance of not contradicting myself while speaking out of both sides of my mouth. My statements were not contradictory. I did not try to argue weather or not my client was insane. In fact, I confirmed that he was. My argument was against the necessity for a straitjacket, since my client is in control of his limbs now.

Also, these statements happened on different pages...I feel that any issues regarding the previous page should be discussed on page 16, with Mr. Placer's lawyer.

I would like it to be noted that I do not represent these clients for monetary gain. I like to believe that everyone has a right to an attorney and my payments are secondary. Rarely does money change hands...mostly it's luxurious gifts/trips/homes and the occasional mythical creature...really nothing to speak of

What the hell is this?

I´m accusing mr. Placer ( twice) and i´m being judged here?

Also i was threatened by the same Random character!!

Sorry to say ur honour but ur missing the point here.

i´m not in trial

Please, ms, Loca. defend me without contradictions. I can´t deal with this. Need my pills!!

lol

Hey officer:

make sure this pic of someone and mr.Placer reaches his majesty!!!

oh jot we cant leave you alone for 5 minutes..........................u got your paws in hot water again..................wait till the boss finds out

as you can see judge my bank is that of a poor man. the way i lose at tfpr i will have none left soon. you can see too that my money has no picture of jotatuga on it so it cant be his!!!

The judge will make his Judgement tomorow night so if you have anything to add for your defense you better post it now or you will be Judged !!! ;-P

I need to file a complaint.

I sue mr. Roystone for leaving his scooter out of sight and letting a robber steal it. Breaks my heart, ur honour.

I think that mr. w8 is his partner in this difamation plot to undermine my legit business which is giving new loving owners to abused scooters.

My intentions are the best and i´m being slandered by these men ( ppfffftt ).

I hope justice will takes it´s course and punish the guilty ones.

hehe

I feel it neccassary to point out that Mr Jotatuga has no evidence, so the case will be dismissed before it gets to trial....and failing that, he is not of sound mind. (hehe)

Ur honour:

Soon my attourney will post a decisive argument that will reveal the true.

Our all case will be based in my integrity as a scooter businessman and a donator.

Ealry on, in a charitable rush i offered 50 scooters for the police charity auction and all those fine law men only have to look away when and where i do my business (scooters parking lot). See?

Politicians trust me with their hhmmmm "pocket change" to keep away from their scooters and always did. i´m a man of my word.

So i don´t need evidence, my actions speak for myself.

Anyway, i have legal representation from mr. Swampy and have a real lawyer to protect me from mr. Swampy.

Still, witnesses can testify ( in my behalf anyways ).

lmao ( this is fun ).

Jot

dont trust Swamp...his safe house is a dudgeon, with whips, chains and handcuffs, he has no doggies or pussycats, only females trained to make your life a misery..(sound familiar)..

If you need a real person to protect you hun...just shout out to me, always here to look after my friends.

Dimps xx

Your honorable highness, I am here to plead the case of my client, Sir Jot of the Squirrels.
He is not a stealer of scooters or a malcontent of any sorts. His only problem is his sanity. As you can see from the picture below, he is clearly nuts. So on this basis, I plead permanent insanity on his behalf.\


btw you majestical regalness, would you please advise my client to A) pay his bill and B) put those things away.
Thanking you in advancement.

the Hon Swampy

lmao Dimps

Mr. Attourney:

You started so well and i thought this will be a winner but then this came up:
Do i have to call Dimps to take care of you? she got whips, u know??

I´m on my knees asking the mercy of the judge now and i´m not even in trial !!!

I was told he will rule soon ( i´m shaking )!!!!

Lmao

Jot m8, haven't you heard of the defense strategy "guilty until proven insane". It's a classic defense that works 7.26 times out of 10. So please, bare with me on this 1. And if it does fail, which I am almost certain it won't, (but no guarantees), then I will wave 10% of my fee.

For now I am making an appointment with a Dr Quackenheimer to have you assessed. When you leave his office, check your arm for a stamp. If it looks like this,

then your in the clear. No more problems and case dismissed. On the other hand, (no pun intended), if the stamp says this,

then you will need to throw your self on the mercy of the court. See, easy peasy and never squeasy.

you friend and most respected council
Swampy

»»»»»»»ALL RISE!!! THE SESSION IS NOW OPEN!!!««««««««


Case 1- Jot vs Placer - The accusation must call 2 witnesses to the stand or this case will be dismissed. You have 2 days to do so.
Case 2 - Jot vs Roys - The acused must nominate a defense attourney and post closing arguments in 2 days or face the penalty. Roys you can´t defend yourself so the above argument is striked out and won´t be accepted.

Final note: Jot, it´s the 5th time your lawyers are here and somehow insanity always comes up. I´m going to think about this and decide what to do in 2 days.

All cases until this day will be in court in 2 days.


»»»»»»» Courtroom dismissed »»»»»»»

-----WANTED------
Lawyer...must be willing to defend the innocent (rare opportunity for a lawyer)
must be cheap or willing to work for free (I'll buy you a drink in TFPR bar)
must be available to defend me before the 2 days limit runs out.

Please help as this Jotatuga character must not be allowed to sue me, after all I never actually said it was him that stole my scooter in the first place!
If successful Irn Bru and shortbread will be given to the victorious defender of the innocent!!

Ermmmm..... Someone stole my job in the Free Bar Room !!!

Does anyone know if I have a cause ??

I want to sue The drunk barman !!

I might have been sleeping on the job many times but I cant remember if I ever been drunk on the job !!

I think its out of order !!

Judge please help !!!

Your honour I would like to inform you that in the case of -

Mr Jotatuga - of No.1 Tree Cave, Thunder Road, Portugal
Vs.
Mr Roystone - of Tunnocks Tea cake house, 22 Irn Bru Street, Scotland

The plaintif and the defendant have decided to settle out of court.
I will now be buying Mr Jotatuga a box of pills (of undisclosed colour/variety)

Hope this pleases the court.

I'd like to sue BillClinton/Ace777/whatever the heck his many splintered personalities are these days...for poop stirring, unpleasantness, boastfulness and incessant exaggeration.
I realize we don't normally drag minors into the courtroom, but I believe that since his actions attempt to be that of a socially handicapped adult, he should be charged as one.


kisses
lefty, special prosecutor for the slightly invisible

(the honourable rookie entering th room ) ALL RIIIISE!

U may b seated.

Case 1 - Mr. Jot failed to bring any witnesses to the stand therefor this case is dismissed...... however mr. Jot forced this court to spend time with this nonsense so he must pay the fee so, mr. Jot must post in 2 old funny threads in 2 days and get back here and post when it´s done.

Case 2 - Mr. Roy Informed the court a settle was made so....case dismissed with a warning. Do not waste my time again.

---------------------------------

Mr. Barman:

You have no case. U can´t sue a drunk bartender. All you can do is get back to work.

btw, tell ur friend the Judge to comeback to his court.

---------------------------------

Ms. Lefty:

Ur complaint will be heard in due time by the other Judge.

It´s better if a judge who understands such words as splintered, poop stirring, unpleasantness, boastfulness .

»»»»»»»Court dismissed ( 4 now ) ««««««««

Dear Judge Rocky !!

I wish I could go back in the Free Bar Room but the new bartender changed the lock on the door :-(

And seems he stole my favorite toy !! ...... Miss sexy Dimps !! *boo hoo boo hoo*

Hey wait !! STOLE !!! I HAVE A CASE !!!

I wana sue the drunkbartender for stealing my Dimps !!!
(wait does that sound wrong ??)

Anyway !!.... I sue him cuz Dimps was my mojo !!!

I am still waiting my favourite Barman...see for yourself..



I also found this, so hurry back



No case Judge..as I found these in the Barmans bed, so the new bartender did not steal anything....The only case against Barman is "why does he take strange things into the bedroom"??

Your honor,,

I need to bring a case before you concerning JD805, this would be trusted friend of which i have shared many a happy time on msn, has without regard to friendship or just common decency, posted a picture of such ugliness in the team USA2 thread that we feel we need immediate compensation and justice, as we could only find here.

respectfully ,,,,,, chefbuddy

p.s. wanted to use vigilante justice ,, but havent heard from you in a while, thought we might dig you up.

»»»»»» ALL RIIIIIISEEEE «««««««««

Mr. Chef,

Are u filling a complaint in behalf of USA2 team or on your behalf ?

Anyway under the lunatic law is practice here, you do have a case.


You did well, sir. Already a point in your favour.


Case 3 - USA2/Chef vs. JD805 - This complaint must be heard but:

1st. - What are the charges?

2nd. - Both sides must nominate a attourney and post their arguments and/or evidence.

You both have 4 days to comply.

«««« All Riseeee »»»»»

You are dismissed ( 4 now )