Real Madrid have today risked the wrath of Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson by planning an audacious world record bid for prolific Manchester United striker "Own Goal".

With 10 goals already this season, Goal is Manchester United's 2nd top scorer, two ahead of perpetually sedated Bulgarian hitman Dimitar Berbatov.

Goal, who regularly partners fellow Utd striker "Dodgy Injury Time Winner" up front, is thought to be flattered by the interest from the Spanish giants.

Own Goal's agent, Paul Stretford, told reporters, "Of course he's flattered, but he's a United player and he's very happy here."

"And apart from that, I'm not sure there are many defences as dire as Portsmouth's in La Liga, so he may not get the same service in Spain."

Interest

Real Madrid are understood to have been put on high alert after Own Goal's spectacular hat-trick against Portsmouth last weekend.

Spanish paper Marca have reported that Own Goal is the number one target for Madrid this summer, with Madrid's president Perez quoted as saying, "You know I don't like to talk about other clubs and their players, but I'll do everything I can to get Manchester United's Own Goal this summer."

"Despite reaching double figures for the season after banging in another at Villa Park this week, I actually hope he hits a dry spell for the rest of the season - then we won't have to pay as much as we did for that greasy, diving, moaning little degenerate last summer."

Praise

Berbatov, who has so far failed to impress at his time at United, has nothing but praise for his fellow striker.

"The manager demands that we score, and Own Goal has come a long way this season, he's a pleasure to play with, as it means I have to run even less - so I'm obviously chuffed," concluded the only man alive who makes the Panda look hyperactive.

United's top scorer, Wayne Rooney, wants to see Own Goal - whose nationality isn't certain - declare himself for England and play in this years World Cup.

"Heskey, Defoe and Crouch, the three of them can **** off, I want to play up top with Ownie," said Rooney.

Sir Alex Ferguson however, is understood to be fuming at Real Madrid, who have yet again disrupted one of his best players in mid season.

"I wouldn't sell that mob Own Goal" he was understood to have said.

"He's our player and playing him means we don't have to play that little scouser Michael Owen, which is a result" concluded the fiery Scot.

lmao! :)

All the best players end up at Madrid grrrr.

too much to read to be honest.
you obviously not a man utd fan.
check the stats, how far down the league would man utd be without OG???
if these own goals didnt happen, would it mean man utd wouldnt score???

GLORY GLORY MAN UTD.

were the f**k are liverpoollllllllllllll

hahaha

madrid have already signed the ex united hero, think hes chinese, di ving bas terd, for a record fee.

new united hero is also chinese ug li.

flmao this is funny

at the start of the season with ronaldo gone, we knew we could do with a bit more fire power, owen, berbatov and others failed, and suddenly goal emerged from nowhere, i am a united fan and can appreciate the effort goal has put in for us this season with his hattrick against portsmouth topping it off, if something happens to rooney then i know OWN GOAL will come through for us in the end :)