Cat owners - avoid the expense of costly cat carriers by simply tying your cats tail to one of it's hind legs ! - this makes a perfect carrying loop !.

thats why u called manx u aint got a tail to tie......

me and tinny on our way to isle of man

poor old manxie what u gonna wag now?

Roundin up the troops

never eat yellow snow!

Never mess with a cat ............

us cats make yellow snow.........................

Manxman Zix, signing in and reporting for duty.

Any moggie invaders will feel the wrath, not just there tails they'll be losing.

WOOF WOOF,

z

there was a young KitKat called tin,
who was making rather a din,
a Manxman called time,
she stepped into line,
moggie spank was avoided 4'it begin

Feline Cob's stepped into the fray,
she was cheeky and wanted to play,
so with Hovi in tow,
they gave it a go,
Alas it was not kitties day,

the lesson you hear is quite clear,
be careful the cats you go near,
for they're frisky at best,
they can be a test,
be careful I tell you my dear

Environmently friendly cat owners ! - the filter from a cigarette, when shoved up a cats arse, makes an ideal catalytic converter to remove the environmentally harmful methane from their farts !.

Just a thought . . . . .

Manx is that why your cats don't have tails?

Cat owners - owning a Pedigree cat can be very expensive - save money by not owning a pedigree cat, and slashing your own furniture with a sharp knife !!.

On an "un-cat related issue" !.

Liam Gallagher (from the group Oasis) when singing, lower the microphone a bit so its in front of your mouth, to avoid any unnecessary neck strain, although, how you can avoid being a c**t is beyond me ! im afraid !.

to avoid an embarassing noise when passing wind, place one hand on each bum cheek and separate them before the emission, eureka, noiseless gas.

um er, to avoid crapping yourself whilst passing wind, do not separate the cheeks just before the emission.

Hahaha

er, any one got any tips on how best to clean soiled underwear.

Too many cats in your house?
Need to find them a good new home?
Well I can help......
Call ROYSTONE KEBABS ON 0800-SHEESH-CAT-BAB

hahahahahahahaha

danm Reporting !!

CATSSSSSSSSSS !!

Lets......................................................



ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!

Tip....When you live on an island in the Irish sea, wear 20 denier tights under your boxers to stop your Manx going blue.

you pussies/tomcats need to cool down...

and 'ere's how

lmao dutch................we sup beer and grow tulips for a hobby....Now thats coooool

Office party goers - Impress your colleagues when photocopying your genitals by setting the machine to enlarge by 400%.

This works for men only - as the results for women are not nice !.

People in small houses - give your kitchen a more spacious feel by placing a pile of sprouts at one end and pretending that they are "far away" cabbages !

TFPR forum posters. Make it seem like you're funny by copying out bits from the top tips section of issue 193 of Viz and passing them off as your own.

dont use a fork to pick your follow through from the bed sheets up - use a spoon.

ask your spouse to hold the nail you need to piledrive in.