At the weekend i was visiting a friend in Kopparlundsvagen in Sweden, I went out side for a cigarette and stumbled upon an old letter for a job......?
Low and behold the letter was from someone called jim from scotland ?
''Dear Mr stevson,
let me tell you a little about ones self,
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I
have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making
them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic
slurs for Cuban refugees,Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot
bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed,
I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes.I am a
veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly
defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious
army ants. I enjoy urban hang gliding.
Children trust me.
I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have
performed several covert operations for the CIA and FBI and MI6.
I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I
successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a
small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.
I can make love to my wife while asleep,
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a
toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San
Juan using just daffodils , i often win cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka.
I think i would be the best moderator your site will ever have,
I will lead by example, i will make changes for the best.
I think all writings on your forum should be wrote in a scottish style,
I know i will get the job so i would like to thank you in advance for your time.
Yours
Woosh
hehehehehehee
