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CMjohnnyB
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# Posted: 17 Apr 2008 17:44
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A day in the life of the village called table 1
Season 2 scene 3
The places events and characters portrayed in this work are purely fictional any resemblance to people living or dead are purely intentional.
No New Characters
A special guest appearance in cameo of CMWonka
Scene 3 begins
The scene opens outside the village post office were stands twr506 hand almost on the doorknob
twr506 wait up calls Denisey from behind .
Hello denisey says twr506 how r u today
Oh I'm fine thank you says denisey where's that brother of yours this morning?
Here I am coming up behind you says CMtwr506 in a hurt sounding voice, I can't believe I didn't win the wet T shirt competition he continues and to get beaten by that mancruian dazza oh the indignity of it .
Well you came 4th love says Beverley who joins the group at that exact moment (slightly breathless)
Out of 4 sniggers twr506
I voted for you says bev but behind her hand in an aside to denisey bev says I really voted for dazza who did u vote for.
Are you joking says denisey quietly with those pecs showing it was dazza all the way
Gamester came 2nd so he beat you says twr506 and I came 3rd so even I beat you continues twr560 in a very superior tone of voice
Oh the shame of it says CMtwr506 and to add insult to injury I got hammered at poker as well
That professional dealer that Johnny brought in is very nice and good at her job says denisey
yes says bev she will make a great night that much better I think
I don't know says CMtw506 I didn't understand a word she said apart from hello, at one point she said to me "don't draw on an inside straight" and as I didn't have either a pen or pencil with me I couldn't draw on anything even if I knew what it was.
In the distance they hear the cry of nurseth Martha nurseth Martha wait I'll walk with you.
Arrgghh says CMtwr506 young chip now I know it must be Wednesday.
Poor boy ever hopeful says denisey
Just then HappyAli and Krazy1 walk down the street arm in arm and talking away 9 to the dozen
CMtwr506 calls out to them hey you two what's going on are you friends now
HappyAli and Krazy1 stop and look at the four friends
HappyAli says yes we are we decided that it was pointless arguing over Johnny's love
Yes says Krazy1 we came to the realisation that Johnny is a loving kind of person and has enough love for everybody, so why fight for it.
The two women go into the beauty emporium still talking away.
At that precise moment gamester came around the corner carrying a bucket in one hand and ladders in the other, morning all says gamester and then he continues to sing "I see what I see when I'm cleaning windows"
George Formby and his ukalalee says CMtwr506
Who asks denisey and bev together
George Formby a film and radio star of the 1930's 40's says CMtwr506 he did a spoof song about cleaning windows
That's correct says gamester and he played a ukalalee which is a bit like a banjo
Mind you he was correct the things that I've seen through the window wowee
Do tell us says CMtwr506
No don't says denisey while bev shook her head, we don't need to know and CMtwr506 you certainly don't need to know
Oh bother says CMtwr506
Good morning loser calls dazza to CMtwr506 coming from behind the group
Do you like my new T-shirt says dazza, while pointing at his chest upon which was a plain white t-shirt with the words "WINNER of Beverly's Bloomers Wet T-shirt competition" written upon it
CMtwr506 hangs his head and mumbles something unintelligible (that means no one could understand it)
While the rest of the group exchange greetings
Right at that very minute a truck pulls up outside of Beverly's Bloomers and out gets ken shouting a greeting to the group who all respond in kind
What are you delivering today ken says dazza
Oh its peanuts and crisps today says ken walking over to join the group, but I don't know if I'll be delivering any more crisps have you heard about the potato shortage
What potato shortage says dazza the early reports were saying that it should be a supper bumper record crop this year.
Well apparently it was says ken but even so there is a shortage
What's going on says gamester first we hear there is a shortage of wheat and yeast now its potatoes just what is going on.
The crowd gets larger as froggywoman who is on her way to the beauty emporium stops by thas correct says froggywoman in her lilting French accent I hearrrrrd from my family in Francais and they say the same bumberrrrr crop but shortages
Pulled in by the buzzing sound of many voices all talking at once comes shanaghy and forgot along with poolshark and DocMD
Dats roit oi be talking to my family in Ireland and it's the same dere says shanaghy
Poolshark says that means no snacks to munch while drinking our beer
Forgot says and no chip supper at closing time
Joining the crowd comes krazy1zbaby and yschi
Baby says mom believes it's all a plot by the communists to destroy the west.
Yschi says I want to talk about this I don't understand
Martha joins the swelling crowd closely followed by young chip
Its utter madness says Martha why is there a shortage? and what are the village elders doing about it?
BigDegs who arrived just at that precise moment shouts YES what are the elders doing about it
The chant of "ELDERS" "ELDERS" "ELDERS" is taken up by the crowd
Baby joins in the chanting while
Yschi says I want to talk about this I don't understand.
Don't you join in CMtwr506 says denisey we are the elders
Oh my goodness yes I had forgotten says CMtwr506
Bobby and Shellbri come out of Beverly's Bloomers and stand looking at the crowd mesmerised (that's a big word ) by the herd mentality (that's another big word)
From the direction of the woods!! Comes flojo and CW arriving together!!
The crowds in an ugly mood says flojo to CW
Yes says CW I think you ought to go inside Beverly's Bloomers for safety flojo while I try to settle this crowd.
Just then a chauffer driven Daimler comes purring along the road the outline of CMWonka can be seen silhouetted in the back
CLEAR the Queens highway shouts CW in his harshest police voice, let CMWonka's car through
The crowd stirs but doesn't move
It's a famine shouts out BigDegs from the safety of the crowd
That's not a famine shouts back bobby why when I was in SA dyffing w..............
The crowd mutters collectively "look at the time" and " "got things to do" and "excuse me" and "no time" and "sorry"
The crowd disappears in a flash, leaving Bobby and Shellbri alone while the Daimler purrs away down the road.
Shellbri laughingly says well Bobby your crowd control is ruddy marvellous
Bobby turns to Shellbri and says well darlin I guess we had better put an advert in the village news about Saturday, what shall we do this week
Shellbri looks at bobby and says what about a Vicars and Tarts night.
Should we be looking for Johnny
Look for clues instead
Those two lines begin with an S and an L
Scene 3 Ends
Beverly's Bloomers
This Saturday's theme is
VICARS AND TARTS NIGHT
Beer prices will be low again this week
(A small entrance fee will be charged to cover extra costs)
The Beauty Emporium (Propriator HappyAli)
Is pleased to announce that this week is designated as Beauty Week
All Beauty Treatments are subject to a 25% price reduction
To book your treatment tel: Village 421
Here is the news with your favourite (only) reporter
Stexpepper
Our Top Story
Potato shortage
Yes folks its true despite record crops being harvested there is a shortage of potatoes the amount coming on to the market is well below demand causing massive price increases.
This reporter smells something fishy going on and demanded a statement from the authorities.
However the village elders are keeping quiet on this subject.
Our other stories tonight
Wheat and Yeast shortage
The wheat and yeast shortage continues no developments are forthcoming.
The Fish trail continues
Police are no further forward in finding the culprit(s) of this heinous crime
Constable CW was quoted as saying
"I will catch the culprit of this heinous crime"
That is the news in full
This is Stexpepper for the Village news saying goodnight
DUE to my holiday getting in the way season 2 scene 4 which would normally be published on Friday 25th April will actually be published on Monday 28th April
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CMtwr506
Member
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# Posted: 17 Apr 2008 18:06
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Roflmao johnny you are the best mate. lol
We always look forward to a good read about the village and you come up with the goods everytime, thanks for your time and effort putting it together. your a star jb.
Best wishes my friend.
CMtwr & twr.
p.s Have a good holiday buddy
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Bobbybuttmunch
Member
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# Posted: 17 Apr 2008 18:20
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Thanks again JB. I do look forward to my fridays you know.
Have a great holiday and we'll see you in 10 days.
All the best.
Bobby...the butt meister.
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yschi
Member
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# Posted: 17 Apr 2008 19:49
Reply
lmao jb,,
is that all i can say in your script..
"lets talk about this, idont understand"
hahaha
but love the story.. its great;)
thanks
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krazy1
Member
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# Posted: 18 Apr 2008 01:34
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luv it johnny........u will be missed........it is great as always.......
luv ya my johnny
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CMwonka
Moderator
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# Posted: 18 Apr 2008 06:38
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OMG buddy, you are a star,,,well done my friend
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